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Sky Astra Specialist
Joined: 13 Jun 2005 Posts: 183
Location: Northamptonshire
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Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2005 10:51 pm Post subject: Aircraft repairs... |
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After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe
sheet, which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form,
& then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it
be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual
maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and
the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had a fatal
accident. ... Enjoy!
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget _________________ Sky
And everybody's saying that hell's the hippest way to go, i dont think so but i'm gonna take a look around |
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Mark1GTE wee mark
Joined: 28 May 2005 Posts: 4402
Location: Scotland
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Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2005 11:03 pm Post subject: |
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fcuking excellent only the aussies could have such a sense of humour,my drivers fill out daily logs and put faults on occasions i`ve been known to right similar sarcastic comments usually aimed at there lack of common sense,having no brains,or inabilility to drive,i`m a nice boss you know
the one i got tonight was a fcuking cracker,driver phones in with the temperture gauge sky high and battery light on at 70 mph on a 53 plate vectra and says what do i do,i scream fcuking stop you silly fcuking twat before i kick you so hard up the ass you`ll taste yesterday`s breakfast
ended up towing it home from glasgow tonight as the bottom pulley has came off chucking the belt into next week |
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Allbelly Astra Specialist
Joined: 25 Jun 2005 Posts: 191
Location: Newbury, Berkshire
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Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 4:20 pm Post subject: |
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ahhhh see mark the joys of owning new shape vectras
mines been in the garage more times than the road.....
cheers aubs _________________ K15 AUB now on my vectra....... |
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Mark1GTE wee mark
Joined: 28 May 2005 Posts: 4402
Location: Scotland
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Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 4:33 pm Post subject: |
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they are shite ain`t they,really one of the worst cars i`e ever owned and this coming from a man who stuck an fso polonez diesel out as a taxi in 1996,i don`t admit to that very often but it did earn me a grand a week and would pull you up a mountain with that pug diesel engine,so joke all you like it paid for itself in about 3 days and is better than the vec c |
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Allbelly Astra Specialist
Joined: 25 Jun 2005 Posts: 191
Location: Newbury, Berkshire
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Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 7:13 pm Post subject: |
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yes mark they are to say the least dissapointing.
list of problems mine has had.
1. when the lights are on turn steering wheel left to right and the lights dim right down.
2. knocking from front of car when going over sleeping police men (slow or quick)
3. cruise control not working ( every time they reset it goes again)
4. speakers in door fuzzy
5. front seat came apart
6. engine would not rev over 2500 rpm
and a few more minoer details
vauxhall response
1. replaced lights, battery and altinator ( still does it)
2 replaced both front shock, ball joints and wish bone ( fixed)
3. reset computer managment ( still not right)
4. replaced speaker ( yea right)
5. replaced seat cover (ok but squeaks)
6. replaced some thing under bonnet but cant remember ( it revs now)
i am dissapointed with it but i still think there a nice looking motor.
cant decide wheter to keep or get rid and get somthing else???
it would have to be another vauxhall as i just love um
cheers aubs _________________ K15 AUB now on my vectra....... |
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Mark1GTE wee mark
Joined: 28 May 2005 Posts: 4402
Location: Scotland
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Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 9:04 pm Post subject: |
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i`ll never buy a new one again but i may take a cheap accident damage etc like the 05 plate one i`m looking at with a forecourt price of about thirteen grand but i`m hoping to get it for less than five grand and repair it,other than that i think i`m going to start buying skoda octavia`s or superbs,honest ( no pun intended lol )
i`ve had done on the blue one alone
cruise control loads of times
both front wishbones twice
radiator mountings
rear suspension arms
steering rack
track rod ends
new instrument panel,speedo etc
headlights
recalled forget what for
interior light
and more i`ve forgot and it`s an 04 plate with 49,000 on the clock now,shite i tell ye |
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Suicide Astra Legend
Joined: 30 May 2005 Posts: 4790
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Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2005 1:55 am Post subject: |
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Aren't you glad you didn't get a VXR version then Mark, I know if it were me and one kept breaking down I'd be seriously p@#sed off |
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Mark1GTE wee mark
Joined: 28 May 2005 Posts: 4402
Location: Scotland
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Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2005 2:30 am Post subject: |
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yes, but i really can`t fathom it that an older model is much more better but it is the same with the mk1 astra i suppose i.e got it right first time then gradual decline afterwards |
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Suicide Astra Legend
Joined: 30 May 2005 Posts: 4790
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Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2005 2:41 am Post subject: |
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Don't forget the early V6 vecs suffer badly with engine faults but now you can't move for the damn things. Wonder if the signum is any better... or the Saab 9-3 (Vec in different clothes) |
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Suicide Astra Legend
Joined: 30 May 2005 Posts: 4790
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Jason Rallyslag
Joined: 29 May 2005 Posts: 5552
Location: Halifax on't couch or in't pub
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Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2005 6:53 am Post subject: |
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The Signum and the Vec are the same beast...
The turbo Signum has the reliable Saab engine in it though, oh and a very strange seating arrangement in the back too. _________________ The most hip hop mofo to ever come out of Halifax.....Jam Master Jay in d house!!! |
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Mark1GTE wee mark
Joined: 28 May 2005 Posts: 4402
Location: Scotland
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Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2005 9:10 am Post subject: |
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"It's a miserable story for the 'new' Vectra. Unhappy with the car's reliability and performance, Top Gear readers voted it 123rd, keeping it behind the more popular older version for the second year running. D'oh!"
see i was right i don`t need no feckin survey to tell me that,i am the survey lol with the amount of vecs i`ve had and still have,the old vec b is a belter in comparison,my only problem is i`m on an age rule up here for taxi`s and i bought my last vec b last year an 02 plate vec dti hatch but fom now on for future replacements i`ll have to look at different models or ultra cheap vec c`s with something wrong i.e light accident damage so as to balance out the cost of keeping the fecker on the road,
another fault my blue vec has had is a full osf hub assembly as the wheel bearing went on the m6 on the way home from neil andersons house in southampton |
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Allbelly Astra Specialist
Joined: 25 Jun 2005 Posts: 191
Location: Newbury, Berkshire
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Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2005 5:04 pm Post subject: |
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yep mark
i had the 2000 model old shape with the face lift. again only an 1.8 16v but never ever let me down...i only bloody exchanged it because the new ones are bigger inside and with 3 rug rats i needed the space (ohh and the great deal i got on the new one)
to rub it in even more the people that purchased my old one are well over the moon with it...........
ohh well have to think what else to purchase
saw a nice audi on top gear last night
cheers aubs _________________ K15 AUB now on my vectra....... |
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Mark1GTE wee mark
Joined: 28 May 2005 Posts: 4402
Location: Scotland
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Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2005 6:25 pm Post subject: |
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yep the skoda superb or the new facelifted octavia is looking more and more favourable to me now unless i can pull a cheap deal off on an accident damaged new shape vec,i have in the pipeline an 05 plate vec hatch with 9000 miles front smash and a 53 plate new shape vec estate with 20,000 miles needing a drivers door so i`ll hang fire for now and wait on the insurance clearing on these and see what i can get them for |
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